Defining a style.

To my lovely readers,

I have really come to envy those who have their personal ‘style’ and way of living defined to every detail. I envy those who know exactly what they enjoy doing, what sort of movies they like to watch and books they like to read. I’m especially jealous of those who can express their particular style and personality with the way they dress. You can look at them and know immediately that they’re the sort of country-kid that enjoys reading and writing. They’re the sort of person that you can imagine siting at their desk for hours on end, a steaming cup of tea next to them and soft music playing in the background as they scribble down their thoughts and feelings 

I’ve always longed to have a style and have spent many years experimenting in the hope that one would stick, but alas, none have.

I began actually caring about what I wore when I was about 9/10 years old (in year 5). I decided I wanted to be a goth, so every non-uniform day I would come dressed in all black, wearing silver lipstick with heavily rimmed black-eyeliner-d eyes and my hair slicked back into a ponytail. I looked awful.

Then when I finally realised that this look didn’t work too well for me, I moved onto my neon phase. This involved wearing extremely brightly coloured, patterned clothes that clashed and made people squint when they looked at me. Not too great either.

me a couple of years ago during my 'neon phase' - what was I thinking??

After that phase, I went onto the ‘I don’t really give a crap but I do’ phase which I feel like I’m still stuck in now. It mainly consists of wearing massive woolly jumpers and t-shirts over a pair of jeans almost every day. It’s not too bad – you could definitely call it an improvement from the other phases I've been through, but I still don’t feel completely satisfied.

At heart, I’m quite a girly-girl. I love pampering myself, putting on make up, pink, pretty objects and watching romantic movies in my pyjamas. But I wouldn’t really fancy dressing in frilly skirts, pink vests and high heels every day. But of course, there are elements of this style that I adore.

You could also say I’m a bit of a tomboy as well though – I love getting muddy and messy, I quite like the ‘dragged-through-a-bush-backwards’ look and I live for jeans and Converses. But again, I wouldn’t define myself as a ‘tomboy’.

I also combine elements of the ‘sophisticated, classy, smart/posh’ style when I want to. I love to wear sharp blazers, shirts, chiffon and high-waisted skirts and trousers in pastel colours. However, I definitely would not class myself as a ‘sophisticate’.

this is the sort of thing I wear nowadays - shirts, leggings, jeans, big t-shirts, jumpers - not the most flattering clothes I must admit.

This is my dilemma! For so long, I’ve been desperate to pinpoint my exact style. However, I’m yet to have my fashion-epiphany, so until then, I’ll just have to accept my love for mud, jumpers, white chiffon, silk and obscene amounts of black eyeliner and embrace this ‘individuality’ that I have seem to adopted. 

Lots of love,

Ellay xxx